children of an idle brain

Mining PRs and the Ottotrans™, Part 103


Our occasional series is back, as the attempt is again made to turn mining company news releases into something approaching the English language. The example today comes from Wealth Minerals (WML.v), that bag of special things out of the Henk van Alphen camp.

This is what they wrote:

May 16, 2018

Wealth Announces Engagement of Investor Relations Consultant and Comments on Promotional Activities

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE….Vancouver, British Columbia: Wealth
Minerals Ltd. (the “Company” or “Wealth”) – (TSXV: WML; OTCQX: WMLLF;
SSE: WMLCL; Frankfurt: EJZN) announces that it has entered into an
agreement dated May 15, 2018 (the “FMT Marketing Agreement”), whereby it
has engaged Future Money Trends, LLC (“FMT”) for a period of one year
at the aggregate cost of $250,000 to provide financial publishing and
digital marketing services to the Company.  Pursuant to the FMT
Marketing Agreement, FMT will raise public awareness of the Company
(including its social media presence) and will promote the Company’s
The Company also announces that has become aware that FMT engaged in
certain promotional activities prior to the date of the FMT Marketing
Agreement, namely a letter to readers from FMT entitled “Don’t Miss the
Green Energy BOOM!” and a letter to the readers from CrushTheStreet.com
entitled “Doubling Down on a Major Lithium Sale” that were published on
or about May 13, 2018 (collectively, the “FMT Promotional Materials”).
The Company understands that the FMT Promotional Materials were
published in advance of the Company entering into the FMT Marketing
Agreement.  The Company understands that the FMT Promotional Materials
were aimed at increasing investor awareness of the Company.  The Company
did not have editorial control over the FMT Promotional Materials and
believes that any statements contained therein relating the potential
future value of the Company’s securities or the performance thereof may
be misleading.  The Company cautions readers that forward-looking
statements and information are not guarantees of future results or
performance, and that actual results may differ materially from those
contained in forward-looking statements as a result of risks and other
various factors, particulars of which are set out below.  Going forward,
the Company expects to be able to exercise editorial control over any
promotional and/or investor communication materials prepared by FMT,
including to the extent that such materials speak to the Company’s
securities and the potential future value or performance thereof.
As a result of the FMT Marketing Agreement, the Company has now
entered into agreements for the provision of investor, public relations
and marketing services with Zacks Investment Research, Inc., Fundamental
Research Corp., Native Ads, Inc., Galavant Holdings Ltd., Liviakis
Financial Communications, Inc. and MJP Justus Inc.
After the inquiry by management and except as otherwise disclosed
herein, the Company is not aware of any of its directors, officers,
controlling shareholders (defined as shareholders owning 10% or more of
the Company’s securities), or any third party service providers
providing promotional services to the Company who have (i) sold or
purchased the Company’s securities within the past 90 days or (ii)
directly or indirectly, been involved in any way (including payment of a
third-party) with the creation or distribution of promotional materials
related to the Company and its securities, including the FMT
Promotional Materials.  The Company is aware that (i) certain directors
and officers of the Company purchased 662,500 shares in connection with
the exercise of stock options in March and April 2018 (of which 109,000
were subsequently sold); (ii) the Chief Executive Officer of the Company
purchased 20,000 shares in the past 90 days; and (iii) third party
service providers (not related to FMT) sold 162,000 shares in the past
90 days.
In accordance with TSX Venture Exchange policies, the Company has
routinely in the past issued, and expects to continue issuing, shares
from treasury at a discount to market, but has not issued convertible
instruments allowing conversion to equity securities at prices
constituting a discount to the current market rate at the time of the
About Wealth Minerals Ltd.

And this is what it means:

We are a scam. We didn’t want to publish this news release that makes it clear to anyone with more than six months of experience in Canadian mining stocks that we’re a scam, but we were jumped on by IIROC and these days class action suits are becoming popular in Canada so we need to cover our asses. So after that dumbass Ameduri jumped the gun on the promo BS, our lawyers told us to put all our corporate shenanigans into a single NR which nobody will bother reading so when the inevitable dump moment comes on our $250k pump we’re untouchable. But be in no doubt, we are a blatant, laughable scam just like everything else that is touched by the hand of our glorious leader Henk. The track record of the Cardero Group companies makes that plain to anyone with a memory or a couple of neurons and anyone who reads this NR to the end easily qualifies and will not touch our dogshyte paper with a barge pole. As you have read this far those people now include you, so congratulations. We have of course planned our upcoming marketing campaign with Future Money Trends to cater to the brain dead, you no longer qualify.

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