IKN

President Twobreakfasts said over the weekend that “Peru would recover (from the crisis) in 2010”, which might not sound too bizarre to you, but it is in fact the first time he’s actually admitted that there is a crisis. He also said that (and I quote) the “administration is working intensively to put an end to social protests” which explains why today the Peruvian Army has been given permission to intervene in any illegal protest during the next three days. Or in other words, bang you’re dead, commie.

Why these three days? That because there’s a national general strike planned to protest this most pathetic of governments. All sorts of fun’n’games are planned, but the most likely militant strongholds will be in the teachers and transport sections. So block a road at your peril, dudes…you saw what happened at Bagua.

However, we now know exactly why Peru is protesting so much. It isn’t the fact that 43% of Peruvians with salaries at or under the national average are worse off now than one year ago. It isn’t because of the violent repression every time somebody bothers to protest. It isn’t because the government tries to push through presidential decrees that favour big biz and leave nothing for citizens. IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF HUGO CHAVEZ.

Yep that’s right, and this time there’s undeniable proof…..I think. So follow the bouncing ball on this one and listen carefully. El Comercio (right-wing officialist APRA party newspaper) reports that…

The un-named source also showed El Comercio ‘secret documents’ (yeah I know…not so secret any more…but hey!) that place directors of Bolivarian Continental Coordinators, Peru Chapter at working groups on June 20th with other groups such as Movimiento Perú Pueblo (peru people movement), Colectivo Javier Heraud (the Javier Heraud collective, whoever he might be) , Partido Patria Libre (free homeland party), Fuerza de Izquierda Socialista (force of left socialist…bit of redundancy there methinks) etc etc. The problem with the Bolivarian dudes is that the organization was founded in Venezuela…dammit and shock and horror. Hey, is it my imagination or was APRA founded in Mexico…?

The punchline is at the end of the report, though. When El Comercio asked whether there was enough evidence to file a criminal report, the answer was that the pertinent investigations were still continuing. You think I’m making this shit up? Think again.

UPDATE: Far too good not to share, Un Tal Lucas (of excellently named blog Otorongo no come caballo) has just left a comment below that explains the current state of journalism in Peru. Here’s the bit for English speakers:

-Pro Gov. Journalist: Enter my website, click on my picture and read all about my research. There’s a radical left Chavista/communist conspiracy against democracy! It’s not against this gov, it’s against democracy!

-Independent journalist: Hey, that would be awful… do you have any proof? Who is in charge and isn’t doing anything in office? This would be clearly more important than the sea limits conflict with Chile, why aren’t we telling this to the OAS?

-Pro Gov. Journalist: You are supporting the commies! you fu__ing Chavista! I am a real journalist!! You are not neutral you are against democracy!!!!

-Independent journalist: But…

-Pro Gov. Journalist: HEY! LET ME TALK YOU COMMIE!!!!