Take physic, pomp

USA denies Chávez assassination plot

If you’re a media dude in the LatAm of today and you want to create your own personal false polemic that grabs a corner of the limelight, here’s a rough guide. Follow the bouncing ball, people:

1) Start some wild rumour that attacks the Venezuela of Hugo Chávez, or just pick up on the latest BS being chattered around the ruling class bars and restaurants in Caracas/Maracaibo.

2) Collar some government lackey as they leave office at the end of the day, or at a cocktail reception or in the local McDonalds or wherever.

3) Ask him/her if there is any truth in the rumour that yada yada…

4) Diligently note the response

5) Bingo! You got yourself a headline.

And also note that, far from being jealous, other media dudes will be happy to feed off your BS and run stories such as “According to a report in the Daily Blabber, Venezuela rejected all yada yada blah blah…..”. So imagine for a second if that kind of trash journalism was allowed to happen in “the serious countries”. You’d quickly get headlines such as “USA Denies Chávez Assassination Plot” or “The UK Denies Insurgency Campaign in Bolivia” or “Sarkozy Insider Denies Presidential Cocaine Habit” or whatever.

This note was brought to you by the following sponsors:

“International Herald Tribune”, “Venezuela Denies Iran-Syria Missile Report”

“El Universal”, “Venezuela Denies Prescence of FARC Bosses In Country”

“Reuters”, “Venezuela Denies Mulls Changes To Forex Rate System”

“Associated Press”, “Venezuela Denies Report That Chávez Invited Russia To Open Military Base In Venezuela”

There are another 10,000 or so of these; just Google “Venezuela denies” and see what happens for yourself.

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